Books written by Anne Stirling Hastings, Ph.D.

Shedding Shame and Claiming Freedom: How to Eradicate Our Most Painful Emotion

Bring Sex and Love Together (Transformational Fiction) 2014

Product Details

The companion to Dirty Sex or Clean Sex, this is Grace’s story of those nine years between the first and second relating with Richard. She learns about sexuality in and out of bed, and writes papers for her psych classes. Do she and Richard end up together? Be the fly on the wall as they learn about sex, shame, and healing.

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Dirty Sex or Clean Sex (Transformational Fiction) 2014

cover#3-2A revealing novel about how men are encouraged to engage in “dirty” forms of sex, and may have trouble with the “clean” forms.  They are encouraged by other men to lust, ogle and joke.  One man examines his need for dirty sex, and how difficult it was to be loving and present while making love.  Walk with him as he learned to heal his sexual shame and open to real love.

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Sex From the Man’s Point of View (Transformational Fiction) – 2014

A revealing novel of how men are discouraged from using sex for its purpose of love and connection, and how this is built into our culture. One man walks through learning about, and healing the effects of these influences.

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Create New Love: How Men and Women Can Prepare for a Lasting Relationship (2012)

Create New Love, the book - wide
Anne’s flagship book focuses on singles who have not understood what went wrong in their past attempts. The focus is studying oneself in order to prepare for a relationship rather than repairing a damaged one. The five pillars of relationship difficulties are presented, along with learning how to prepare to keep them from interfering with a new relationship.

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Reclaiming Healthy Sexual Energy: Revised (2010)

ReclaimingHealthySexualEnergy-coverThe first half describes the healing process for all kinds of sexual issues of individuals. Differing sexual interests and frequency, effects of sexual abuse, milder forms of sexual addiction, and more

The second half offers a plan for couples who want to heal their sexuality together.

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Healing Humanity: Life Without Shame (2009)


Healing Humanity explores all the personal and cultural forms of shame, that horrible emotion that everyone wants to avoid. It gives detailed methods to study shame, be curious about it, and to actually pull it out of ourselves.

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Treating Sexual Shame: A New Map for Overcoming Dysfunction, Abuse, and Addiction (1998)


This book for psychotherapists is equally useful for the person learning about healing their own sexual shame. The fields of sex therapy, sexual addiction and sexual abuse are viewed under a single umbrella. Therapists are offered a plan to heal their own sexual shame in order to be more available to the shame of their clients.

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Mommy Loves You: A Novel About Incestuous Love, Its Effects and Its Healing (2013)


The effects of maternal incest on a young man, on the brother and the father are shown in their interactions. Their healing, along with the devastation experienced by the mother when she is confronted, evolve as the novel progresses. The methods of healing are portrayed by five characters.

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Anne Recommends

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Sue Johnson


In Hold me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship-from Recognizing the Demon Dialogue to Revisiting a Rocky Moment-and uses them as touchpoints for seven healing conversations. Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love.

Hold Me Tight: Your Guide to the Most Successful Approach to Building Loving Relationships by Sue Johnson


Developed by Dr Sue Johnson over 20 years ago and practised all over the world, EFT has been heralded by Time magazine and the New York Times as the couple therapy with the highest rate of success. Couples who use EFT see a 75 per cent success rate. The therapy programme focuses on the emotional connection of every relationship by de-escalating conflict, creating a safe emotional connection, and strengthening bonds between partners. In HOLD ME TIGHT, EFT pioneer Dr Sue Johnson presents her highly effective therapy model to the general public for the first time. Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love.

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment by Amir Levine


We rely on science to tell us everything from what to eat to when and how long to exercise, but what about relationships? Is there a scientific explanation for why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle? According to psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, the answer is a resounding “yes.”

In Attached, Levine and Heller reveal how an understanding of adult attachment-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950’s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman


Straightforward in its approach, yet profound in its effect, the principles outlined in this book teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman has scientifically analysed the habits of married couples and established a method of correcting the behavior that puts thousands of marriages on the rocks. He helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr Gottman’s workshops, this is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.

Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples by Harville Hendrix


Originally published in 1988, Getting the Love You Want has helped millions of couples attain more loving, supportive, and deeply satisfying relationships. This groundbreaking book includes exercises as well as a foreword detailing Dr. Hendrix’s updated philosophy for eliminating all negativity from couples’ daily interactions. Dr. Hendrix, in partnership with his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD., originated Imago Relationship Therapy, a unique process for couples, prospective couples, and parents.

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