Are you concerned that you might not find the perfect person to mate with? Have you had divorces or breakups that left you wondering if there was any such thing as a good marriage? Does it seem that everyone you interact with is controlling, narcissistic, demanding, or boring? When things do seem to go well, and you both flirt and attach to each other, do you wonder why it doesn’t last? Have you fallen in love, thought you were in heaven, and then find fault with him or her? Or he or she finds fault with you? And neither of you have skills to understand why this is and what to do about it? And then you break up. Do you feel hopeless about their being any good relationships in the world?
Sadly, your experience is shared by most people. Half of marriages end in divorce, and far more relationships end, too. Of those who remain married, many, perhaps most, are or have been in marriage counseling. That’s why there’s an entire field of practice called marriage counseling. So why not prepare for a relationship before getting into one?
Most single people know that they aren’t doing well in relationships, but believe they haven’t selected the right person. It’s all about the other one. In truth, it rarely is. I wrote Create New Love: How Men and Women can Prepare for Lasting Love, and created a web site called CreateNewLove. It includes how to select someone compatible with you, but the great focus is on understanding how you engage with a lover in ways that just don’t work.
The GATHERINGS are important when engaged in healing, as you get to be part of a group of people who are all learning these skills together. You have people to practice with. A new culture of people is created who know how to communicate, how to be real, how to be transparent with boundaries. Once this culture takes hold, that sense of alienation and isolation experienced by so many people dissolves! We get to feel connected in new ways. Love flows. The desire for sex actually decreases, as the love that sex is trying to create is readily available. Then sex only makes sense for a couple who are falling in love, or maintaining their coupling.
Once this new culture is experienced, you will want only that in your new relationship. This makes you safe from getting with someone who focuses on sex, or is controlling, or who disappears into himself or herself and becomes unavailable. I can help you can start real relationships!