Blog Posts

Bring Sex and Love Together, The Value of Healing Sexual Shame

My Transformational Fiction novel number four is up on Kindle! I really enjoyed writing this book, as my character, Grace, was so able to learn about sexual distortions, and give voice to a marvelous understanding of sexual shame and the “shame compartment.” It was quite an experience for me to be amazed at what she […]

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Healing Sexual Problems

Are you interested in a videoconference therapy group? I wrote Reclaiming Healthy Sexual Energy: Revised to help individuals and couples heal their sexuality. You can start there, at Amazon, and then decide what you would like to do next. If sexual abuse, or arguments about sex are your focus, therapy can help. If addiction is […]

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Why do Jokes, Innuendo, Sex Clubs and Porn Make Some Men More Comfortable?

Men, when you exchange sexual innuendos, or tell sexual jokes, or go out to sex clubs with other men, maybe even internet porn sites, does it allow you to feel more comfortable? More normal? When you carry shame about your sexuality, operating with others can allow you to step out of the shame. I call […]

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Why Are Twenty Year Olds Using Viagra!

Are you a man who can’t get naturally aroused with your partner? Are you the partner of a man who can’t get naturally aroused with you? Young men, in their twenties can become unable to become aroused when with a woman they care for. Viagra is becoming normal for them, and doesn’t work for many. […]

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Are Men the Bad Gender and Women the Good Gender?

Women have seen men as the lucky ones – making more money, being in control, etc. But men, in a more hidden way, are seen as the bad gender and women the good gender. This interferes with men and women being in relationship. It goes like this: Women shame men. We often don’t know it […]

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When We Say, “All They Want is Sex,” We Harm Men

It is generally believed that men need lots of sex, that they think about it all the time, that they value looking at sexy women, and divide women into body parts. They are seen as dirty, lustful and inappropriate. Then they are criticized for being this way. Men are defined as sexually shameful. Purely by […]

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How Do You “Attach” To People, And To Life?

Attachment Theory is based on long standing research about how children attach to their parents, and how couples attach to each other. The three basic styles are: Anxious Attachment Secure Attachment Avoidant Attachment These fall along a continuum from very anxious to very avoidant, such as recluses who relate with almost no one.  Where do […]

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Replace Cultural Deceptions With The Truth

The feeling of alienation that so many people live with comes from adapting to a culture that is fraught with made up love, happiness and joy. All around us are avoiding their shame, and helping others avoid theirs. No one wants to create conflict, and see others react negatively to us. Do you find yourself […]

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Gather Together To Heal Faster

While the purpose of the meetings is to educate regarding the five arenas of healing, and to practice skills that can bring about healing and connection, just as important is the nature of the acceptance of all. In the Gatherings you get to be with other people, and still be yourself. If you are excited […]

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What Do You Need?

1. Do you feel badly about yourself, or about what you have done? You may want to address your feelings of shame. I wrote a whole book on how to recognize it, and how to stop taking it on. 2. Are you having issues with your sexuality? Conflicts in your relationship, porn, Internet, masturbation, affairs? […]

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