Avoidant Attachment Resources

Emotionally Unavailable Men – Avoidant Attachment?

The media and your friends want to condemn men who just can’t seem to relate the way we do. What’s wrong with them, anyway? They should be able to just decide to be like us. We are the open, generous, caring gender that is the model of humanity. Right? Wrong. We can take a look […]

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Reclaiming Healthy Sexual Energy: Revised (2010)

The first half describes the healing process for all kinds of sexual issues of individuals. These include the effects of sexual abuse, loss of interest in sex, or sexual addiction. We are all sexual beings, and the culture has interfered with our using it well. We can heal our way out of those harmful influences! […]

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Avoidant Attachment Makes it Hard to Communicate

Does your love pull away from you? Act like you aren’t in the room? Criticize you or start a fight when you have been especially close? Leave or go to sleep right after sex? Spend money without talking about it? Or anything else that makes you feel left out, unimportant, or unwanted? These experiences may […]

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Stop Avoidant Attachment from Disturbing Your Relationship

You’ve read all those articles about how to resolve conflicts, right? How to address money and sex and childrearing and housekeeping tasks. Don’t scold, shame, or speak with contempt or defensiveness says expert, John Gottman, Ph.D. Okay. You have all that down. But why does it seem impossible to understand other people’s reasoning? Why do they […]

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Stopping Avoidant Attachment

I grew up feeling like an alien because I was so severely avoidant of people and, actually, of life. I did this because it seemed to make me safe from my mother’s hatred and threat of killing me. Well, yes, believing I could make myself safe from being killed was a very good reason to […]

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Sexual Symptoms of Avoidant Attachment

Doesn’t it make sense that if a person is avoidantly attached, they might have issues in being lovingly sexual? Maybe you have been with a man who seems to disappear when you are having sex. He does the acts, but he could be anybody. Or she just lies there, not doing anything, waiting for it […]

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Healing Avoidant Attachment Style of Interaction

Avoidant Attachment is no way to live. It cuts us off from others, and from so much of the meaning of our lives. We don’t get the closeness and intimacy that those who are more securely attached do. I have been healing my own for some time now, and the outcome is quite wonderful. Becoming […]

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Avoidant Attachment can Stop Your Sex Life

Funny how people write about sexual issues as if all you have to do is learn new positions, and tell each other what you like in bed. Your style of attachment can have a huge impact, and if you don’t know this, you can’t figure out what to change to make things better. People fall […]

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Why is Avoidant Attachment So Hard to Stop?

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (28.9MB)Avoiding others and not attaching is designed to make us feel secure. Odd, isn’t it? We have to take a look at how avoiding attachment actually did serve us at one point, and how it no longer does. Attachment theory has identified three basic kinds of attachment Secure – […]

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How Do You “Attach” To People, And To Life?

Attachment Theory is based on long standing research about how children attach to their parents, and how couples attach to each other. The three basic styles are: Anxious Attachment Secure Attachment Avoidant Attachment These fall along a continuum from very anxious to very avoidant, such as recluses who relate with almost no one.  Where do […]

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