Narcissism – Meditate it Away

Have you been told that you are narcissistic? Perhaps by a partner, or an adult child? Maybe people at work? Even a therapist?

You want to protest. “No, wait, that isn’t me.” But at the same time, you would rather do what you want, go to restaurants you prefer, engage with others only when it suits you. You don’t want to do what feels like giving in. You’d rather be alone than with people who demand things. What they see as narcissism feels normal. Why do they have a problem with it?

But this style of life has cut you off from so much that others seem to value. Loving feelings, connection, compassion, any kind of spiritual understanding. It’s no fun when people who should be important to you are just annoying. When you have to control them so they get things right, so they interact in ways that you find acceptable.

If you tried therapy or marriage counseling, it didn’t go well. You either got the therapist to take your side, or you seemed to be the odd one out. Condemned one more time with this label – narcissistic.

We therapists know that chances of helping someone with this diagnosis are poor. We find that few are interested in connecting with us, using our skills to reach inside to find causes, grateful to find help.

Does it surprise you to read that meditation might be a solution??

Here’s why. You do it on your own. No one evaluates you, no one has reactions to what you do or say. You get to check in, see for yourself what would improve your emotions. Your thoughts. Your actions.

Dr. Joe Dispenza has created a freeing kind of guided meditation that could serve you well. He goes into great explanations of how science demonstrates ways we can change our beliefs, attitudes, emotions, actions and even physical health. And then he has you listen to guided meditations on CDs or YouTube.

His book, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, starts with quantum physics and leads into the physiology of meditation. He holds workshops online and in person where you do nothing but listen to enlivening talks, and then listen to guided meditation. No requirement to be anything other than yourself.

Then, for those who embrace his outlook, I hold therapy groups with video conferencing or in my office which include his meditation. Meditation Therapy Groups. Different from my regular groups, you don’t have to face how you are with others – unless you choose to. Group members each look at what they want to change, and what got them to be how they are that they want to change. Then after the meditation they share what effect it had. Weekly groups keep you going, and members value hearing the experiences of others.

You may become a happier narcissist, or you may find the style just melting away on its own.

You can reach me at 805-987-5647 or

There’s more

Meditate Your Way Out of Avoidant Attachment

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